thanks for the memories

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Rationing Paper Products and Other Adventures in Caring for a Parent

The patience factor is extremely high when it comes to caring for a parent.  When my kids were young and I was seen around town taking all 6 of them shopping or to functions all by myself (my husband being a dairy farmer wasn't often available for during the day activities) observers would automatically assume that I had far more patience than the average mom.   After all why else would I be able to cart all these kids round and keep order without seeming to lose my sanity?   Little did those onlookers know that sanity is one of the things a mother checks at the door of the labor and delivery suite when she has her first child.  But I digress.

Patience is not something that I possess in abundance.  I don't even have a little bit of it.  Humor, scads, patience, not a wit!  The key to raising all those kids was to keep in mind that they were learning, little by little, what was expected of them.  Lessons are never learned on the first try so it was easy to try again the next day, and the next, and so on until they left home.  Caring for a parent is a whole different ball of wax!

Everyday I have a new mantra as a I care for my mother; she has no clue!  Wipe away from your mind any memories of the fastidious, controlled, and proper woman that raised you I keep telling myself.  She's gone somewhere into the mist.  What has been left is a woman who doesn't know the rules of common sense, isn't going to learn them, and doesn't give a hoot. 

 Before I go any further, while this may sound sad, and in a way it is, sad is not what I am.  Amused, yes, fascinated, you bet, but sad not really.  Everyday I wake with the remembrance that biology is doing its darndest to cheat my mother of everything that she was and I am here to make that journey as easy and pleasant as possible.  


So when she goes through a roll of toilet paper a day just because she can and every box of tissues in the house have to be put up high so that they are available if you have a legitimate need I just remind myself that the lessons are there for me to learn and God gave her to me to be the teacher.  Only this time there will be no more spankings with a wooden spoon and she can't ground me for minor infractions.

Today I am refusing to be depressed because we have to "mom proof" the house for her own good and once again all of her underthings have to be washed because she feels the need to wear them all at once I will spend the day thanking God for washers and dryers.  I think that I need to get out my volumes about Mother Theresa and reread them and remember that though my mother is not materially poor, in her present state she might be considered one of "the poorest of the poor."


Monday, November 4, 2013

The Simple Woman's Daybook 4 November 2013



Outside my window...it is dark!  I suspect that dark is going to be my new friend while I walk this road of caring for my mother.  I never was a morning person but now I think that is going to become a 24/7 thing.

I am thinking...that while change may be inevitable there is no rule that says I have to like it or accept it gracefully.

I am thankful for...family! Siblings who understand without being told and who have refrigerators with plenty of beer in them.

From the kitchen...is a good question. I think I will have to wait for inspiration to strike. Let's hope it doesn't take all day about it.

I am wearing...warm and cozy flannel jammies!  We may be in the south but it still gets darn chilly around here at night.

I am going...to put in a full day's work today!  (I'll let you all know how that pans out after the day is over) 

I am reading...you're kidding right!  Between trying to work on commissions and taking care of mom there is no time left over for reading.  I managed to do 11 loads of laundry over the weekend!

I am hoping...to figure out why the quilting machine is out of whack and set it right before I give in to the temptation to throw it through the window!

I am hearing...the distant whistle of a train as it passes by on the tracks, the furnace coming on to blow some warm air into this place, and the now familiar creaks and groans of this young house growing older as it wraps itself around a new family.

Around the house...the other inmates are sleeping and the air has a distinct odor of anticipation as this new day brings its promise with it into the lives of this family.

One of my favorite things...spending the evening having fun with my niece and nephews.

A few plans for the rest of the week...I would like to see all of the smocking on this christening set be done by Wed. so I can start construction.  Tune in later to see if that little plan works out.

Here is a picture thought that I am sharing with you...

The sight of my granddaughter snuggling with her doll is so right.