Living life intentionally

For several years I posted here quite regularly. It almost seems strange that during a seemingly busy time in my life I made the effort to post pictures and make a record of my thoughts and the little things that I and my family did each day.  Now all the children are grown, I’m a grandma 11 times over and my days are mostly my own but the opposite has become true. I neither take or make the time to record anything here.  How backward that seems.  I still have many thoughts that I wish to record and there are so many pictures and happenings in my life that could be chronicled.  Only the attitude has changed.  I have gone through a period of time where I wondered about the significance of my place in this world.  How difficult it is for a mother to not only see her children grow up but to also honor that growing by treating them thus. Until recently my whole purpose and place in this life has been as a mother and a teacher.  Then for a short time I became a caregiver but that season has passed, for now, and, along with it, that definition.  “You have been a wife all this time,” it may be remarked and that is true and will be for quite some time to come, God willing, this is true.  However being a wife to my husband is no kind of chore nor really what it is for other women. My man is unique in that he truly doesn’t need my presence in his world. He is one of those blessed people who have no trouble cleaving to God and being not only disconnected but, independent of, those around him.  I don’t mean to imply that he doesn’t love me, on the contrary he loves me far more than I deserve. Rather I mean that emotionally and even spiritually I am not the anchor that holds him to this world. 

And so, at the risk of sounding more than I am, I spend my days in silent prayer, reading, serving my grandchildren, and over all attempting to see the small things that God expects me to do rather than letting them come to me.

Here, now, I hope to record a life that is lived differently while all the time reminding myself that it is the intention that matters more than any possible result.