a large, intact family, I knew all about what marriage and family life was like. I knew what a wife and mother was supposed to do. I was so totally equipped to do this. Therein was my first mistake. Good choice of word, therein, there in my head. There in my pride. I could resort to the oft used phrase, "if I only knew then......" but I'm not sure that would be true of me then. I was missing an essential ingredient, maturity. In my credit I did indeed "know" an awful lot. To my discredit, I was too young and immature to know that I didn't know an awful lot as well. My husband would be a happier man now if I hadn't been so arrogant. The honest truth, and that is what this whole thing is about after all, is that I spent so much time knowing it all that I spent a lot of our early married years shutting him out and shutting him off. Instead of learning and growing together I stood on my own and learned and stood alone. The growing didn't really happen until we started to grow together. Thank God that God is in control because without him making sure that circumstances and events came along to help both of us, I don't think this whole thing would have worked.
Thank God also for a persevering and loving man who had and still has the love and patience to stick with me and wait for me to grow up and learn what needs to be learned.
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