How can one be both overwhelmed and excited at the same time? MK and I are moving shortly and the idea of sorting and packing then moving everything to storage takes my breath away. I walk into rooms and see full boxes, empty boxes, and shelves still loaded with books and such and I am paralyzed. Then when I sit down and view houses online or skype with my son and daughter-in-law and a great feeling of both excitement and peace come over me.
This move has been questioned over and over by friends. I am told that the experts say not to make a major change, such as a move, in the first year after the death of a spouse. The experts didn’t have to contend with COVID-19 and a power hungry governor. Hubby and I had tossed the idea of moving back in the spring before his accident. Already the atmosphere here in New York State was beginning to be more than restrictive. When churches where shut down it became almost more than should be born.
With the help of my husband, extended family, and our beloved priest the restrictions imposed by the first shutdown became almost bearable but certainly not tolerable. Then the bottom fell out of my world. In the space of a few minutes my anchor and heart was injured and in a coma. Then, although the state began to open up and I had more access to the Mass and the Sacraments, I had no real access to the one who completed me.
Six months later and my heart is in the grave along with he who knew it so well. Our state is shutting down again and my access to the Sacraments is being threatened. The experts never took anything like this into account when they made their recommendation. So, though I have family here to help and sustain me the food for my soul is in danger of being taken away. Hence the decision to move to Tennessee. There I have family as well but, more importantly, the churches are not closed.
So, I am overwhelmed with the task of packing up this house and putting it in storage. I feel somewhat like Mary and Joseph and their flight into Egypt. But, on the other side of the coin, I am excited. More family awaits me where I am going and access to My Lord in the Blessed Sacrament is nearly limitless.
5 comments:
I dont have the words, but you inspire more hearts than you know. I'm excited with you!
Tennessee will welcome you with open arms!
Ann! I am excited for you, but saddened for me. But in light of all the restrictions and people being so afraid that they report neighbors for visiting I completely understand. We have always been kindred spirits, and will continue to be. I love you.
So excited for you! Oh dear one, how I know the feeling of looking at messes and feeling paralyzed...Oh my gosh, I how I get that.
I remember when we moved here from the burbs, I had an urgent feeling to move here, and I know people were surprised. I'm so glad we are here, the county we moved from is more restrictive etc.
You are on an adventure with God, may He be your comfort and your friend and your husband at this time. It's so nice you will be with family too, what a bonus!
Looking forward to the next update, I feel an excitement for you! Praying for you, love, Amelia
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