thanks for the memories
Friday, October 28, 2011
It is right and proper to pray, always.
This has been copied and pasted from a friend's blog. Please join me in praying for this most worthy intention.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Special Novena Intention to St. John Bosco
Labels: Prayers, Saints
The following letter is from our son's pastor, a priest our family feels honored to know (especially Gabey who shares a name-patron, and any of our our boys who've enjoyed his company at Boys' Camp):
Dear Friends in Christ,
Praised be Jesus and Mary!
Could I ask your help in praying for a special intention? The prayers for this novena, which will start today, are at the end of this email. The reason for it is as follows.
In 1847 St. John Bosco wrote a book of prayers and spiritual advice for youth called The Companion of Youth. It was his best-seller so to say. During his lifetime it went through 122 printings and three editions (The first had 352 pages and the 3rd had grown to 520 pages). Each printing was about 50,000 copies.
In his Memoirs of the Oratory St. John Bosco speaks of this book as follows: “Another need showed up: a prayer book suitable for the times. There is no shortage of prayer books which have been put together by excellent people and are available to everyone. But, on the whole, these books were written for educated people, for adults, and most of them could be used by Catholics, Jews, or Protestants. Seeing how insidious heresy was spreading quietly every day, I undertook to compile a book suitable for the young, adapted to their religious ideas, based on the Bible, and setting out the foundations of the Catholic religion clearly and concisely. This was The Companion of Youth.”
In 1851 St. John Bosco added another section called “Fundamentals of the Catholic Religion”. It had been published earlier as a separate pamphlet. Speaking of this pamphlet he said: “Its aim was to put Catholics on the alert lest they let themselves be caught in the nets of the heretics. Its distribution was extraordinary; in two years it sold more than two hundred thousand copies. This pleased the good, but it enraged the Protestants, who had begun to think that they had the field of evangelization all to themselves.” He also wrote to a friend: “If you get involved in these booklets you're sacrificing any support you might have from La Gazzetta del Popolo [a violently anti-Catholic newspaper], and maybe from others. This booklet, tiny as it is, is a nuisance to them, and they would just love to burn any copies they can get hold of.”
The book was translated into English for the first time in 1938, then again in 1955. Later revised or incomplete translations were published by the Salesians after they had become very liberal. These included changes in the Mass. Neither the old and complete translations, nor the new are in print, except for some small excerpts in another work. They are almost impossible to obtain (the Salesian publishers in NY did not even have a copy of the 1938 edition in their archives).
I obtained a copy of the 1938 edition to scan and have compared it with the 101st Italian printing (3rd edition, the most complete one published by St. John Bosco). It is a complete and accurate translation. The only omission is the Vespers of Our Lady, Vespers for the whole year, and the Office of the Dead. These were left out in order to keep the size small and because they can be obtained from many other prayer books.
There are so many of our youth today who could benefit from this book, if we could only get it in their hands. Unfortunately, due to a change in copyright law in 1996, the book is still in copyright (owned probably by the Salesians). Could you join me and a couple hundred others to whom this email is being sent in praying this novena from today, October 27th to November 4th to get permission to republish this work?
The prayers below are selected from several novena prayers to St. John Bosco which were added to the 1938 edition of The Companion of Youth. Could you pray at least one of them each day of the novena? Thank you in advance, and may God reward you abundantly for this act of zeal for the souls of the young!
In Jesus and Mary,
Fr. Gabriel
Novena prayers for permission to reprint St. John Bosco’s book, The Companion of Youth: prayers and spiritual advice for the youth.
O glorious St John Bosco, by that great love which thou didst bear towards Youth, of which thou didst make thyself Father and Teacher, and by the heroic sacrifices thou didst bear for its salvation, obtain for us, that we also may love with a holy and generous love this chosen portion of the Heart of Jesus and that in every child we may see the adorable person of our Divine Savior.
Glory be to the Father, etc.
O glorious St John Bosco, who didst love the virtue of purity with a love of predilection, and who didst inculcate it by word, writing, and example, obtain that we too, enamored of so indispensable a virtue, may practice it constantly and diffuse it by every means in our power.
Glory be to the Father, etc.
O glorious St John Bosco, who wert ever so compassionate towards human miseries, look down upon us, so greatly in need of thine aid; pray that the maternal blessings of Mary, Help of Christians may descend upon us and upon our families ; obtain for us all the spiritual and temporal favors of which we stand in need ; intercede for us in life and in death, so that we, too, eternally may sing the Divine mercies in Paradise.
Glory be to the Father, etc.
Prayer to Mary, Help of Christians
Most Holy and Immaculate Virgin, Help of Christians, we consecrate ourselves entirely to Thee and we promise always to labor for the greater glory of God and the salvation of souls. We pray Thee to turn thine eyes of pity on the Church, priests and missionaries; on our relatives and benefactors; on the youth confided to our care; on poor sinners and the dying, and on all the souls in Purgatory. Teach us, O most tender Mother, to copy in ourselves the virtues of St. John Bosco, particularly his angelic modesty, profound humility and ardent charity.
Grant also, O Mary, Help of Christians, that through thy powerful intercession we may be victorious over the enemies of our souls in life and in death, so that with Saint John Bosco we may be gathered round Thee in thy home in heaven. Amen.
Ejaculation: Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us. (300 days indulgence.)
PS: Also our family is adding the intention to this novena of the spiritual well-being of all our young people, but especially our sons, that prayer being the mission of St. John Bosco's life. (We like to "Pile On" in our novenas... :)
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Special Novena Intention to St. John Bosco
Labels: Prayers, Saints
The following letter is from our son's pastor, a priest our family feels honored to know (especially Gabey who shares a name-patron, and any of our our boys who've enjoyed his company at Boys' Camp):
Dear Friends in Christ,
Praised be Jesus and Mary!
Could I ask your help in praying for a special intention? The prayers for this novena, which will start today, are at the end of this email. The reason for it is as follows.
In 1847 St. John Bosco wrote a book of prayers and spiritual advice for youth called The Companion of Youth. It was his best-seller so to say. During his lifetime it went through 122 printings and three editions (The first had 352 pages and the 3rd had grown to 520 pages). Each printing was about 50,000 copies.
In his Memoirs of the Oratory St. John Bosco speaks of this book as follows: “Another need showed up: a prayer book suitable for the times. There is no shortage of prayer books which have been put together by excellent people and are available to everyone. But, on the whole, these books were written for educated people, for adults, and most of them could be used by Catholics, Jews, or Protestants. Seeing how insidious heresy was spreading quietly every day, I undertook to compile a book suitable for the young, adapted to their religious ideas, based on the Bible, and setting out the foundations of the Catholic religion clearly and concisely. This was The Companion of Youth.”
In 1851 St. John Bosco added another section called “Fundamentals of the Catholic Religion”. It had been published earlier as a separate pamphlet. Speaking of this pamphlet he said: “Its aim was to put Catholics on the alert lest they let themselves be caught in the nets of the heretics. Its distribution was extraordinary; in two years it sold more than two hundred thousand copies. This pleased the good, but it enraged the Protestants, who had begun to think that they had the field of evangelization all to themselves.” He also wrote to a friend: “If you get involved in these booklets you're sacrificing any support you might have from La Gazzetta del Popolo [a violently anti-Catholic newspaper], and maybe from others. This booklet, tiny as it is, is a nuisance to them, and they would just love to burn any copies they can get hold of.”
The book was translated into English for the first time in 1938, then again in 1955. Later revised or incomplete translations were published by the Salesians after they had become very liberal. These included changes in the Mass. Neither the old and complete translations, nor the new are in print, except for some small excerpts in another work. They are almost impossible to obtain (the Salesian publishers in NY did not even have a copy of the 1938 edition in their archives).
I obtained a copy of the 1938 edition to scan and have compared it with the 101st Italian printing (3rd edition, the most complete one published by St. John Bosco). It is a complete and accurate translation. The only omission is the Vespers of Our Lady, Vespers for the whole year, and the Office of the Dead. These were left out in order to keep the size small and because they can be obtained from many other prayer books.
There are so many of our youth today who could benefit from this book, if we could only get it in their hands. Unfortunately, due to a change in copyright law in 1996, the book is still in copyright (owned probably by the Salesians). Could you join me and a couple hundred others to whom this email is being sent in praying this novena from today, October 27th to November 4th to get permission to republish this work?
The prayers below are selected from several novena prayers to St. John Bosco which were added to the 1938 edition of The Companion of Youth. Could you pray at least one of them each day of the novena? Thank you in advance, and may God reward you abundantly for this act of zeal for the souls of the young!
In Jesus and Mary,
Fr. Gabriel
Novena prayers for permission to reprint St. John Bosco’s book, The Companion of Youth: prayers and spiritual advice for the youth.
O glorious St John Bosco, by that great love which thou didst bear towards Youth, of which thou didst make thyself Father and Teacher, and by the heroic sacrifices thou didst bear for its salvation, obtain for us, that we also may love with a holy and generous love this chosen portion of the Heart of Jesus and that in every child we may see the adorable person of our Divine Savior.
Glory be to the Father, etc.
O glorious St John Bosco, who didst love the virtue of purity with a love of predilection, and who didst inculcate it by word, writing, and example, obtain that we too, enamored of so indispensable a virtue, may practice it constantly and diffuse it by every means in our power.
Glory be to the Father, etc.
O glorious St John Bosco, who wert ever so compassionate towards human miseries, look down upon us, so greatly in need of thine aid; pray that the maternal blessings of Mary, Help of Christians may descend upon us and upon our families ; obtain for us all the spiritual and temporal favors of which we stand in need ; intercede for us in life and in death, so that we, too, eternally may sing the Divine mercies in Paradise.
Glory be to the Father, etc.
Prayer to Mary, Help of Christians
Most Holy and Immaculate Virgin, Help of Christians, we consecrate ourselves entirely to Thee and we promise always to labor for the greater glory of God and the salvation of souls. We pray Thee to turn thine eyes of pity on the Church, priests and missionaries; on our relatives and benefactors; on the youth confided to our care; on poor sinners and the dying, and on all the souls in Purgatory. Teach us, O most tender Mother, to copy in ourselves the virtues of St. John Bosco, particularly his angelic modesty, profound humility and ardent charity.
Grant also, O Mary, Help of Christians, that through thy powerful intercession we may be victorious over the enemies of our souls in life and in death, so that with Saint John Bosco we may be gathered round Thee in thy home in heaven. Amen.
Ejaculation: Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us. (300 days indulgence.)
PS: Also our family is adding the intention to this novena of the spiritual well-being of all our young people, but especially our sons, that prayer being the mission of St. John Bosco's life. (We like to "Pile On" in our novenas... :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Today's post is brought to you by Benadryl
There are great number of people who look at cats and think, "Oh, how cute and cuddly!" Then these same people look at someone like me and wonder if I have come unhinged because I see cats and all I think is, "Degenerate creature of darkness!"
I don't see the above image when I see cats.
I see this image. I see the progression from itchy swollen eyes to clogged throat to blocked lungs to eyes that no longer open to their normal amount.
Why am I saying all this? Because one of the confounded creatures got into our garage today and its dander got into our kitchen where I was sitting minding my own business. Within seconds of closing the door between the garage and kitchen this is what I looked like.
Benadryl, take me away!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Something is killing the fish!
At one time we had a thriving tank full of fish now something is killing off the fish! One by one they are turning over onto their backs and and kicking the proverbial bucket.
We used to have a sucking fish like this guy. He started out about 1 1/2 inches long when I brought him home from the pet shop. He was affectionately known as Mr. Suck (self-explanatory). When Matthew tried to flush him this morning he had to be a good 6-7 inches long.
I said tried to flush because he is currently stuck in our toilet which is prohibiting its use by anyone else in the family.
RIP Mr. Suck!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
My latest endeavors.
I only recently learned how to knit and I am far from accomplished at that. I have been crochetting for a long time but only recently have been able to read a pattern. I remember my mother and grandmother teaching me how to crochet. Since I am left-handed they had me stand facing them to learn. Little do they know that I crochet right-handed the way that they did. Oh well, who's to blame?
This little poncho is a pattern I found in a book in WalMart of all places. I made it in an afternoon (when I should have been researching for my final paper!). All that is left to do is make the little flowers that go on the bottom. This was so easy and comes in four sizes. I am thinking of making it for sale in my shop.
This little sweater is one I found online. This was a little more difficult to figure out but I managed. I tried it on Layn to see how it looked and he has become quite attached to it. I am really glad that I made it in blue. I'd hate see Ian's reaction if he had become attached to the pink one that I am working on now. It is nice to have something to occupy my hands in the evening. I used to spend the time smocking or quilting but my patience and eyesight won't let me do that now so I am glad that I still remember how to crochet. Now I need to finish the nursing shawl that I started last fall.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
The richness of fall
Autumn is ususally thought of as a season of death and dormancy. With the falling of the leaves and the bringing in of the harvest there is a distinct air of completion about the whole season. I have found however that if you look closely enough there is an unexpected richness and abundance about fall that goes beyond the bounty of the harvest.
Out in the barn life is in full swing. Both Mary-Kate's and Melissa's sows farrowed last week. The simplicity and earnestness with which the animals go about the business of life is a richness in itself. There is no awareness of the coming of the cold in the pens where the mothers and babies live. There is only a calm that pervades the air and a sense of purpose as the piglets nurse and the sows get down to the business of raising their young.
Even in the gardens, though they have been stripped bare of the summer's bounty there remains the hint of newness and promise.
The hydrangeas bravely flower and hold their heads up in spite of the two or three frosts that we have experienced. The depth of color in their foliage and the delicacy of the blooms proclaim a defiance of the coming snows.
The lawns continue to grow and shout out their lush green hurrah of the last warm weekend of the season. It will not be overcome by frost or dismal days, the rich green spears seem to cry out.
The leaves on the trees hang on until the very end and, though the colors deepen and surrender their summer shades, the suppleness of youth is in the bright colors as well as the green.
Even my roses defy the temperatures and burst into a final glorious show before yielding to the barrenness of the winter.
The gloominess of the day cannot dim the vibrancy of the show that God displays for my pleasure. "Sit here and soak it in," that bench seems to beckon.
I wonder, does the need to soak it all in, to save the beauty and splendor, infuse the young as well as the old?
Monday, October 10, 2011
I like sweet potatoes, can you tell?
Another favorite here, at least for Layn and I, is my sweet potato soup recipe. This is comfort food at its best. When I am coming down with a cold or the weather outside just says, "bundle up and pamper yourself" I will put a pan of this on and sit down with a good book.
Sweet Potato Soup
1/2 stick unsalted butter
1 onion chopped
4 cloves garlic minced
16 ounces chicken broth
2 bay leaves
3 sweet potatoes peeled and chopped
1 c heavy cream
Heat butter in a heavy saucepan over med. heat. Add the onions and garlic and cook until the onions are tender, stir occasionally.
Stir in the broth, bay leaves, black pepper, and potatoes and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook until the potatoes are tender.
Stir in the heavy cream and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Remove and discard the bay leaves.
Puree with a blender or immersible blender until mixture is smooth. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Serve with a dollop of sour cream on top.
Sweet Potato Soup
1/2 stick unsalted butter
1 onion chopped
4 cloves garlic minced
16 ounces chicken broth
2 bay leaves
3 sweet potatoes peeled and chopped
1 c heavy cream
Heat butter in a heavy saucepan over med. heat. Add the onions and garlic and cook until the onions are tender, stir occasionally.
Stir in the broth, bay leaves, black pepper, and potatoes and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook until the potatoes are tender.
Stir in the heavy cream and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Remove and discard the bay leaves.
Puree with a blender or immersible blender until mixture is smooth. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Serve with a dollop of sour cream on top.
It is Fall!!!!
In fall the young men's hearts turn to thoughts of good hearty, hot cooking. (well not really, but they eat up everything that I cook so they might as well think about it first!) So we have been trotting out some of our old standards and a couple of new recipes.
Last week I came home from being away all day to smell chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove and pumpkin corn bread cooling on the table. If that menu doesn't shout fall I don't know what does.
Sweet Potato Cornbread
(you can substitute pumpkin if you like)
3 large eggs
1/2 c vegetable oil
3/4 c sweet potato puree
3/4 c light brown sugar, packed
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 c cornmeal
1 c pamela's baking mix (if you are cooking GF) if not 1 c flour with 1/2 tsp soda and 1 tsp baking powder added.
1/2 tsp baking powder
Preheat oven to 350. Grease the bottom of a 8-inch cake pan and dust with cornmeal. (we use a springform pan)
In a large mixing bowl, whisk the eggs till frothy, add the oil and whisk to combine. Add the sweet potato puree and whisk well. Add brown sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and pie spice and whisk again to combine.
In a separate bowl mix together the cornmeal, flour mix and baking powder.
Add the dry ingredients into the wet; and stir just enough to make a smooth batter.
Pour into the prepared pan.
Bake for 45 min. until the bread is firm to the touch and golden. A pick should come out clean. Serve warm.
Last week I came home from being away all day to smell chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove and pumpkin corn bread cooling on the table. If that menu doesn't shout fall I don't know what does.
Sweet Potato Cornbread
(you can substitute pumpkin if you like)
3 large eggs
1/2 c vegetable oil
3/4 c sweet potato puree
3/4 c light brown sugar, packed
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 c cornmeal
1 c pamela's baking mix (if you are cooking GF) if not 1 c flour with 1/2 tsp soda and 1 tsp baking powder added.
1/2 tsp baking powder
Preheat oven to 350. Grease the bottom of a 8-inch cake pan and dust with cornmeal. (we use a springform pan)
In a large mixing bowl, whisk the eggs till frothy, add the oil and whisk to combine. Add the sweet potato puree and whisk well. Add brown sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and pie spice and whisk again to combine.
In a separate bowl mix together the cornmeal, flour mix and baking powder.
Add the dry ingredients into the wet; and stir just enough to make a smooth batter.
Pour into the prepared pan.
Bake for 45 min. until the bread is firm to the touch and golden. A pick should come out clean. Serve warm.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Happiness doesn't say it all
bring out the bread
outside is where we eat today, he said.
the cheese, apples, salad too
it's too nice to go inside.
woman bring that work out
there's daylight plenty.
the sun is shining, breezes blowing.
the baby is playing and the son is working.
soak it in
eat it up, its not forever
you'll want to take pictures.
bottle it up.
paint it on your heart.
these days won't last,
but the memories will.
snotty kisses and appley hugs.
outside is where we eat today, he said.
the cheese, apples, salad too
it's too nice to go inside.
woman bring that work out
there's daylight plenty.
the sun is shining, breezes blowing.
the baby is playing and the son is working.
soak it in
eat it up, its not forever
you'll want to take pictures.
bottle it up.
paint it on your heart.
these days won't last,
but the memories will.
snotty kisses and appley hugs.
Ninja tree trimmer?
Rule number one: never stand on the branch that you are cutting. No, Matthew, you are not really a ninja!
Matthew recently had a birthday and his good friend Brett gave him a katana as a gift. I did not know those things were so sharp!
Some of the trees out front needed a bit of trimming. Katana + Matthew + trees that need trimming = Ninja tree trimmer!
The facial expression is my favorite. Remind me to count fingers, toes, arms and legs when he is done.
A hole, a dog and a beautiful sunny day.
We have a hole in our back yard. We have always had a hole in our back yard. We also have boys and dogs. They go together don't you know. When there are no longer boys and dogs in this house there will no longer be a hole in the back yard.
What is the hole for all you ladies may ask. I'll tell you, I don't know it just makes them happy to have a hole. Years ago I used to fill it in and they would dig it out. We played that game several times until my husband convinced me that a hole was a necessary ingredient to the raising of boys and dogs. So I gave up and just let it be.
Must be true. There is Layn his first summer out here on his own and he gravitates to that hole like iron to a magnet, same as he does when it has rained and there are mud puddles out there. (but that is another post)
Today I am thanking God that there is a hole in my back yard. Here I sit at the picnic table working on an essay for school and Layn and Archie have been happily occupied in that hole for a good 15 minutes. (that has to be a record!)
Friday, October 7, 2011
Weapon of God: Feast of the Most Holy Rosary October 7
7 October: Feast of the Most Holy Rosary, weapon of prayer
The Feast of our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary is a title of the Blessed Virgin Mary as the Queen of the Holy Rosary, the chaplet of prayer beads that are used to invoke the Virgin to aid us whilst meditating upon scenes in the life of her Son, JESUS CHRIST.
The Rosary developed out of the habit of lay brothers, who did the manual work and did not have time to pray the whole Monastic Office, of praying Paternosters and Ave Marias in monasteries. This habit then passed to the devout laity.
In 1208 our Lady appeared to St Dominic in the Church of Prouille, France, and gave him a chaplet of beads representing roses commending to him the devotion which had spread among the Faithful of saying Paters and Aves whilst meditating upon the life of Christ.
St Dominic then gave the Rosary to all his Friars Preachers to use in their efforts to convert the heterodox Cathars in Southern France and to call upon our Lady to assist the soldiers of Count Simon de Montfort, 5th Earl of Leicester, father of the founder of the later English Parliament, to defend Christendom from the attacks by the armies of the heterodox Cathars and Albigensians.
On 12 September 1213, whilst St Dominic and his brethren were praying in the Church at Muret in the South of France, Count Simon and 700 knights charged out of the town to meet an invading army of 50,000 marauding heterodox Albigensians who were set upon capturing the whose of Southern France for the Albigensian heresy.
The Albigensians were a type of Manichee and they believed in euthanasia, abortion and sodomy and opposed marriage and child-birth because they believed that all material things were evil and created by an evil force. They had one Sacrament which was called the consolamentum and consisted in euthanasia by either starvation or suffocation. They had murdered Catholic missionaries sent to preach to them and murdered bishops, priests and the Papal legate who was sent to negotiate with them.
Count Simon and his knights straight into the middle of their ranks and slew their leader King Pedro of Aragon, much to the chagrin of Count Simon who wanted to defeat him but not slay him. At this the Albigensian horde fell into disarray and were routed. Our Lady, Count Simon de Montfort and the Rosary saved the day.
Ever after, the Rosary became a great weapon of prayer against evil, and especially in time of battle.
In thanks for the victory of the Battle of Muret, Count Simon built the first shrine dedicated to Our Lady of Victory.
The Rosary was prayed in 1529 at the Siege of Vienna and a great victory won under Count Nicholas von Salm against the Ottoman Turks and their Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent.
In 1571 Pope St Pius V instituted the Feast of Our Lady of Victory as an annual feast to commemorate the victory of Lepanto, off the Greek coast, the huge naval battle won by the Christian navies against the navy of the invading Muslim Turkish hosts. The Turkish navies were many times larger than the Christian navies and had been bent upon conquering the whole of Christendom and enslaving all Christians.
The victory was attributed to our Lady, as a rosary procession took place on that day in St. Peter's Square in Rome for the success of the forces of the Holy League to hold back the Muslim forces from over-running Western Europe.
In 1573, Pope Gregory XIII changed the title of this feast-day to the Feast of the Holy Rosary. This feast was extended by Pope Clement XII to the whole of the Latin Rite, inserting it into the Roman Calendar in 1716, and assigning it to the first Sunday in October.
On 12 September (that date again!) 1683, King Jan Sobieski, appointed commander by Roman Emperor Leopold I, and his Polish Hussars, inflicted a massive defeat upon the Turkish hosts in the Battle of Vienna. Again a Rosary campaign had preceded his victory.
Venerable Pope Innocent XI instituted the Feast of the Holy Name of Mary on 12 September to mark the victory obtained by praying to our Lady.
Pope St Pius X changed the date to 7 October in 1913, being the actual date of the great victory at Lepanto.
Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary Pray for us now and at the hour of our death. AMEN.
The Feast of our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary is a title of the Blessed Virgin Mary as the Queen of the Holy Rosary, the chaplet of prayer beads that are used to invoke the Virgin to aid us whilst meditating upon scenes in the life of her Son, JESUS CHRIST.
The Rosary developed out of the habit of lay brothers, who did the manual work and did not have time to pray the whole Monastic Office, of praying Paternosters and Ave Marias in monasteries. This habit then passed to the devout laity.
In 1208 our Lady appeared to St Dominic in the Church of Prouille, France, and gave him a chaplet of beads representing roses commending to him the devotion which had spread among the Faithful of saying Paters and Aves whilst meditating upon the life of Christ.
St Dominic then gave the Rosary to all his Friars Preachers to use in their efforts to convert the heterodox Cathars in Southern France and to call upon our Lady to assist the soldiers of Count Simon de Montfort, 5th Earl of Leicester, father of the founder of the later English Parliament, to defend Christendom from the attacks by the armies of the heterodox Cathars and Albigensians.
On 12 September 1213, whilst St Dominic and his brethren were praying in the Church at Muret in the South of France, Count Simon and 700 knights charged out of the town to meet an invading army of 50,000 marauding heterodox Albigensians who were set upon capturing the whose of Southern France for the Albigensian heresy.
The Albigensians were a type of Manichee and they believed in euthanasia, abortion and sodomy and opposed marriage and child-birth because they believed that all material things were evil and created by an evil force. They had one Sacrament which was called the consolamentum and consisted in euthanasia by either starvation or suffocation. They had murdered Catholic missionaries sent to preach to them and murdered bishops, priests and the Papal legate who was sent to negotiate with them.
Count Simon and his knights straight into the middle of their ranks and slew their leader King Pedro of Aragon, much to the chagrin of Count Simon who wanted to defeat him but not slay him. At this the Albigensian horde fell into disarray and were routed. Our Lady, Count Simon de Montfort and the Rosary saved the day.
Ever after, the Rosary became a great weapon of prayer against evil, and especially in time of battle.
In thanks for the victory of the Battle of Muret, Count Simon built the first shrine dedicated to Our Lady of Victory.
The Rosary was prayed in 1529 at the Siege of Vienna and a great victory won under Count Nicholas von Salm against the Ottoman Turks and their Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent.
In 1571 Pope St Pius V instituted the Feast of Our Lady of Victory as an annual feast to commemorate the victory of Lepanto, off the Greek coast, the huge naval battle won by the Christian navies against the navy of the invading Muslim Turkish hosts. The Turkish navies were many times larger than the Christian navies and had been bent upon conquering the whole of Christendom and enslaving all Christians.
The victory was attributed to our Lady, as a rosary procession took place on that day in St. Peter's Square in Rome for the success of the forces of the Holy League to hold back the Muslim forces from over-running Western Europe.
In 1573, Pope Gregory XIII changed the title of this feast-day to the Feast of the Holy Rosary. This feast was extended by Pope Clement XII to the whole of the Latin Rite, inserting it into the Roman Calendar in 1716, and assigning it to the first Sunday in October.
On 12 September (that date again!) 1683, King Jan Sobieski, appointed commander by Roman Emperor Leopold I, and his Polish Hussars, inflicted a massive defeat upon the Turkish hosts in the Battle of Vienna. Again a Rosary campaign had preceded his victory.
Venerable Pope Innocent XI instituted the Feast of the Holy Name of Mary on 12 September to mark the victory obtained by praying to our Lady.
Pope St Pius X changed the date to 7 October in 1913, being the actual date of the great victory at Lepanto.
Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary Pray for us now and at the hour of our death. AMEN.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Charming his grandma!
Come on grandma, won't you pick me up? I'm the cutest thing around!
I'll share my apple with you! I'll even give you the skins that I spit out.
You never know just what you are missing....
Yesterday Melissa went to a second-hand shop and got a bubbler that goes in the bathtub along with a bottle of bubbles that are supposed to be tear-free. Last night Layn was in his element. I have a bubbler that we use outside in the yard and Layn and I frequently enjoy the bubbles from that. We also use the bubble wands to make lots of bubbles. Whoever invented this little gadget was a genius and I applaud his sense of fun. There haven't been that many giggles and splashes in that bathroom for a very long time. (not since grandpa was bathing his own little wigglers!)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Holy Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle
On Sunday April 24th 1994, Pope John Paul II recommended this prayer be used by all Catholics as a prayer for the Church when he said:
September 29 is the Feast of the Holy Archangels. It is also the day that we commemorate my oldest son's feast day. His middle name is Michael and when he was born I said a prayer asking St. Michael to take him under his special protection. Little did I know that later on in life my son would become one of Michael's own soldiers.
'"May prayer strengthen us for the spiritual battle we are told about in the Letter to the Ephesians: 'Draw strength from the Lord and from His mighty power' (Ephesians 6:10). The Book of Revelation refers to this same battle, recalling before our eyes the image of St. Michael the Archangel (Revelation 12:7). Pope Leo XIII certainly had a very vivid recollection of this scene when, at the end of the last century, he introduced a special prayer to St. Michael throughout the Church. Although this prayer is no longer recited at the end of Mass, I ask everyone not to forget it and to recite it to obtain help in the battle against forces of darkness and against the spirit of this world."'
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
Following these Scriptural passages, Christian tradition gives to St. Michael four offices:
•To fight against Satan.
•To rescue the souls of the faithful from the power of the enemy, especially at the hour of death.
•To be the champion of God's people, the Jews in the Old Law, the Christians in the New Testament; therefore he was the patron of the Church, and of the orders of knights during the Middle Ages.
•To call away from earth and bring men's souls to judgment ("signifer S. Michael repraesentet eas in lucam sanctam", Offert. Miss Defunct. "Constituit eum principem super animas suscipiendas", Antiph. off. Cf. The Shepherd of Hermas, Book III, Similitude 8, Chapter 3).
September 29 is the Feast of the Holy Archangels. It is also the day that we commemorate my oldest son's feast day. His middle name is Michael and when he was born I said a prayer asking St. Michael to take him under his special protection. Little did I know that later on in life my son would become one of Michael's own soldiers.
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
Following these Scriptural passages, Christian tradition gives to St. Michael four offices:
•To fight against Satan.
•To rescue the souls of the faithful from the power of the enemy, especially at the hour of death.
•To be the champion of God's people, the Jews in the Old Law, the Christians in the New Testament; therefore he was the patron of the Church, and of the orders of knights during the Middle Ages.
•To call away from earth and bring men's souls to judgment ("signifer S. Michael repraesentet eas in lucam sanctam", Offert. Miss Defunct. "Constituit eum principem super animas suscipiendas", Antiph. off. Cf. The Shepherd of Hermas, Book III, Similitude 8, Chapter 3).
Safely nestled under the rainbow
Last night there were some thunderstorms in the area. We were spared the worst of the lightning but boy howdy did we have some heavy downpours. I think even my minimalist husband would have called a couple of them torrential downpours. Sitting here at my desk during one I couldn't see past the overhang of the front walk. Later, when they were over the sky was gloomy and over cast still so no one thought to look for a rainbow. Suddenly, like a promise fulfilled the sun came out and there was not only a rainbow but we could see both ends of it shining brightly like a newly minted coin. When I went outdoors to take a picture, faintly, very faintly next to one end of the rainbow glimmered the image of another, as if it was valliantly trying to immitate the first. There in the picture, behind the house I managed to catch the faint glow of the second rainbow.
The rainbow is a sign in the sky of God's promise that he would never again destroy the earth by flood again. Between my husband and I a rainbow after a storm is a promise also. It is a promise of his abiding love for me and his protection of me against danger, real and imagined. Though the man cannot understand being afraid of anything unreasonable as lightning (something that I fear), he doesn't question it but provides me with his love, comfort, and protection during the worst fears of my life. When the rainbow comes after a storm he points to it and reminds me that he loves me too, just as God does. He has even been known to call me from work to remind me to look for the rainbow so that I will remember that even from a distance, just as with God, he is loving me as no one else does.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Good Eats (of the Kraeger variety not Alton Brown)
Periodically I am asked for recipes. Frequently this causes a certain amount of apprehension for me because I mostly don't follow recipes and I rarely measure. However when pressed to the wall I will whip up the desired dish and attempt to approximate the amounts so that whoever is asking can make it in their own kitchen. When I do hand out the recipe it is always with the disclaimer that it doesn't come with a guarantee of success. That being said, here is my recipe for a family favorite. This makes for good "Friday Food" for those of you who are Catholic and observe the no meat on Friday restriction. The fennel gives the taste and idea that there is sausage in the dish without there actually being any meat in it.
'Taters 'n Greens
2 cups greens (I use swiss chard, beet greens, or spinach. The greens have to be mild or they will overwhelm the taste of the dish)
4 med. potatoes cut into 1-inch cubes (we cook potatoes skin and all because under the skin is where all the nutrients are but you can peel them if you prefer)
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 tsp fennel seeds, lightly crushed (some stores have ground fennel if you have a problem with seeds)
1/4 cup plain low fat yogurt (may substitute sour cream)
3 to 4 tbl milk, warm
1 tbl butter (again, you may substitute margarine)
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
Wash greens. Drain but do not pat dry; leave som water clinging to leaves. Remove stems; thinly slice. Set aside.
Place potatoes and 1 inch of water in medium saucepan; bring to a boil over high heart. Reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer, covered, 10-12 minutes or until potatoes are fork-tender. Drain; set aside.
Coat small skillet with cooking spray. Add onion, garlic and fennel; cook and stir over medium heat about 5 minutes or until onion is softened. Add greens; cook 5 to 7 minutes or until greens are wilted and tender.
Mash potatoes; beat in yogurt, milk, butter, salt, and pepper. Stir in greens mixture.
Serve immediately. Makes 6 servings.
'Taters 'n Greens
2 cups greens (I use swiss chard, beet greens, or spinach. The greens have to be mild or they will overwhelm the taste of the dish)
4 med. potatoes cut into 1-inch cubes (we cook potatoes skin and all because under the skin is where all the nutrients are but you can peel them if you prefer)
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 tsp fennel seeds, lightly crushed (some stores have ground fennel if you have a problem with seeds)
1/4 cup plain low fat yogurt (may substitute sour cream)
3 to 4 tbl milk, warm
1 tbl butter (again, you may substitute margarine)
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
Wash greens. Drain but do not pat dry; leave som water clinging to leaves. Remove stems; thinly slice. Set aside.
Place potatoes and 1 inch of water in medium saucepan; bring to a boil over high heart. Reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer, covered, 10-12 minutes or until potatoes are fork-tender. Drain; set aside.
Coat small skillet with cooking spray. Add onion, garlic and fennel; cook and stir over medium heat about 5 minutes or until onion is softened. Add greens; cook 5 to 7 minutes or until greens are wilted and tender.
Mash potatoes; beat in yogurt, milk, butter, salt, and pepper. Stir in greens mixture.
Serve immediately. Makes 6 servings.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Photos, I hope.
Let me preface this post with the fact that I used my camera phone to take these and I am no photographer to begin with.
This is the skirt that I made using the book that I bought. I took my own measurements and drafted the pattern for a simple A-line skirt. I think it came out pretty nice for a first try. I put elastic in the waist for my first try because I am not that great at putting in zippers and I didn't have one on hand anyway.
This is detail of the patch pocket that I made. It has jumbo rick rack around it and I used my embroidery sewing machine to make a heart with a frame around it.
I finished the whole thing off with a decorative stitch around the hem. Not bad for a first try.
Another thing that I have been experimenting with is different embellishments for children's clothing.
Here is the detail on the front of a dress that I am working on. The butterfly is embroidered on by machine. The stems and leaves I embroidered on by hand. The flowers are yo-yo's that I made by hand and sewed on. In the middle of the flowers I sewed various decorative buttons to coordinate with the colors of the yo- yo's.
In the past when I was making clothing for little children I always stayed with classic match-ups when choosing colors. I am not saying that it wasn't a good choice but it was certainly a safe choice. Lately I have been looking at a lot of magazines and online store-fronts to see what is the current styles for childrens clothing. Some of the color combinations are definitely not what I would have chosen but I find that they are cute together.So, in the spirit of learning new things I have been stepping out of my usual choices and mixing it up a bit. This little set is one of my successes. It is too bad the photography is not that great.
Finally, this little dress is something that I finished up today. I got a kick out of the ladybugs on the bright pink print. I wasn't sure about pairing it up with that stripe but I have to say they are nice. The little ruffle at the bottom brings it all together.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Moving to the edge of my comfort zone
On a recent trip to Barnes and Noble (got to love that store) I came across this book. After a quick perusal I decided that it would be a welcome addition to my sewing library. One search on Amazon later and I was able to buy the book used for 1/10 the price. (that included shipping)
My daughter makes skirts for herself all the time and she has recently introduced Melissa to the art as well. If any of you readers out there have been in a fabric store lately you know that sewing patterns are outrageously expensive. At the risk of showing my age I remember a time when a pattern could be purchased for .25 which left the buyer money to actually get fabric to make up the pattern she had chosen. Now patterns, even at 40% off are around $5.00. That usually means you can buy the pattern on one trip and the fabric on another after you have recouped your loses. But I digress.
It has been many years since I made anything for myself. I would like to have everyone think that it is because I have selflessly been sewing for others which has left me no time to make clothing for me. (this is sadly not true, I am not that good a person) The harsh truth is that I don't like sewing for myself because it requires that I look in a mirror to check the look and fit and the prospect of that is a fate worse than death. (I don't even look in the mirror when I brush my hair. I do it all by feel and it looks that way too.)
Yesterday in the spirit of learning new lessons I took the book down and followed the directions for measuring myself. After I picked myself up off the floor I was able to draft a pattern for a simple A-line skirt. It took me about 1 hour to sew it up and fit it. (I managed this with only one look into a mirror) Again, when the camera woes are over I will post a pic of the skirt sans me. It turned out so well I cut two more.
I might get used to this whole learning thing.
Lesson learned.....I think.
Truly I am not a dumb as I appear, but this whole diaper making thing has been a mystery and a puzzle to me. After a lot (and I mean a whole lot) of reasearch I managed to puzzle out the supplies that I would need to make some of these new-fangled AIO's for Layn. I found a source for the PUL (waterproof) fabric online at a reasonable price. Found another source for the higher quality Velcro (0nly it isn't called velcro it is called Aplix). The problem came when I downloaded about a half dozen different tutorials, patterns, and directions for sewing the darned things. I should have chosen only one and taken it from there.
Mistake number one=lesson number one: everyone does it a little different and therefore there is no one right way to make an all in one diaper.
So here is what I do. I use the pattern called Rita's Rump Pocket (aptly named). I use one layer of the PUL, one layer of some kind of soft fabric which will be against Layn's bottom. So far I have been buying flannel sheets, pillow cases, and clothing from yard sales and repurposing them. Then I use three layers for the "soaker" in the middle. For the soaker you can use anything that you want since it will be sandwhiched between the PUL and the flannel. I have again been using tee shirts that I got cheap from yard sales.
Unfortunately my camera is on the fritz but when it is better I will post pics of both my failures and my successes. Suffice to say Layn now has about a dozen diapers made with love by grandma.
Mistake number one=lesson number one: everyone does it a little different and therefore there is no one right way to make an all in one diaper.
So here is what I do. I use the pattern called Rita's Rump Pocket (aptly named). I use one layer of the PUL, one layer of some kind of soft fabric which will be against Layn's bottom. So far I have been buying flannel sheets, pillow cases, and clothing from yard sales and repurposing them. Then I use three layers for the "soaker" in the middle. For the soaker you can use anything that you want since it will be sandwhiched between the PUL and the flannel. I have again been using tee shirts that I got cheap from yard sales.
Unfortunately my camera is on the fritz but when it is better I will post pics of both my failures and my successes. Suffice to say Layn now has about a dozen diapers made with love by grandma.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
One lesson down more to go!!!
This old dog is definitely learning a few new tricks. Back in the day, when my children were only wee ones there was no such thing as "going green." We just did what our mothers and grandmothers taught us to do.
So there I was expecting my first child, the question of how to diaper him was not a question at all. Yes, there were disposable diapers available but who could afford them, and why? My policy is and always has been, "I'm doing laundry anyway, might just as well throw in a few more or do another load if that's what it amounted to." As a matter of fact there was no such thing as WalMart either!!!!! So off to Sears Roebuck I went to stock up on all of the baby essentials: cloth diapers, what we called rubber pants, pins and plenty of A&D ointment. We started out with a purchased diaper pail as well, you know the kind that has the compartment in the lid for the deodorizer tablet, but when baby number three came along and I still had two others in diapers, well you know. So we switched to a 5 gallon pail purchased at the hardware store complete with lid. (forget the deodorizer tablet, just splash some bleach in each time you scrub it out and you are good to go!)
Anyway, back to my lesson. Now my grandson is in diapers. The diaper pail is the same but diapers have certainly changed over the years. I won't even begin to list all of the different options that are out there. Like a good mom, Melissa has Layn in cloth but our four dozen prefolds are beginning to show a lot of wear and he isn't two yet and not likely to be trained any time soon.
So, onto the internet went grandma to search out sources for supplies and patterns to make what is known in the modern world as AIO's. (all in one) I am overwhelmed by the information out there, but I have been reading, watching videos, and downloading until I see diapers in my sleep. Time will tell if this old grandma is a green grandma or just an old fogey!
So there I was expecting my first child, the question of how to diaper him was not a question at all. Yes, there were disposable diapers available but who could afford them, and why? My policy is and always has been, "I'm doing laundry anyway, might just as well throw in a few more or do another load if that's what it amounted to." As a matter of fact there was no such thing as WalMart either!!!!! So off to Sears Roebuck I went to stock up on all of the baby essentials: cloth diapers, what we called rubber pants, pins and plenty of A&D ointment. We started out with a purchased diaper pail as well, you know the kind that has the compartment in the lid for the deodorizer tablet, but when baby number three came along and I still had two others in diapers, well you know. So we switched to a 5 gallon pail purchased at the hardware store complete with lid. (forget the deodorizer tablet, just splash some bleach in each time you scrub it out and you are good to go!)
Anyway, back to my lesson. Now my grandson is in diapers. The diaper pail is the same but diapers have certainly changed over the years. I won't even begin to list all of the different options that are out there. Like a good mom, Melissa has Layn in cloth but our four dozen prefolds are beginning to show a lot of wear and he isn't two yet and not likely to be trained any time soon.
So, onto the internet went grandma to search out sources for supplies and patterns to make what is known in the modern world as AIO's. (all in one) I am overwhelmed by the information out there, but I have been reading, watching videos, and downloading until I see diapers in my sleep. Time will tell if this old grandma is a green grandma or just an old fogey!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
A new leaf
There is an old saying that goes like this, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." I have recently been informed by my daughter the psychology major that it is just not true. Not only can you teach an old dog new tricks, I too can be taught. I am not sure that I believe her 100% but I am willing to endeavor to learn a new trick just to prove that phrase untrue.
I am now turning over a new leaf and on the path of learning new tricks. I have reached the conclusion that no one wants to learn from my mistakes or be prevented from making similar ones, so this blog is going to take a new turn. I guess that my new attitude and new direction make the title of this blog more than apropos. So here goes and only time will tell whether the new leaf was truly new and that tricks which weren't part of the repertoire have now been acquired.
I am now turning over a new leaf and on the path of learning new tricks. I have reached the conclusion that no one wants to learn from my mistakes or be prevented from making similar ones, so this blog is going to take a new turn. I guess that my new attitude and new direction make the title of this blog more than apropos. So here goes and only time will tell whether the new leaf was truly new and that tricks which weren't part of the repertoire have now been acquired.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Attitudes
There is a pervasive attitude today that goes something like this; "I did the kitchen an dloaded the dishwasher, so it is only right that you take out the garbage and sweep the floors." or something to that effect. This attitude boils down to the feeling that "I don't wish to do any more than I have to, moreover I want to make sure that you do your part." That attitude isn't so new. It's something that is natural for those of us who are lazy and self-centered. But this isn't an examination of others or their motives it is a revelation of my own faults and mistakes and a plea to those I love not to repeat them. Love is not about division of labor, it is about inspiration. It is about seeing God in the beloved to such a degree that you are inspired to be like Jesus and empty yourself for your beloved. It is about the idea that you can never do enough. When my husband and I were young and newly married I had the stupid idea that everything that he could do around the house for me was a good chance for him to show his love. WRONG! It wasn't my job to be thinking of ways for him to show his love, that's his job and if he falls or fails at it I'm not the judge, God is. My job is to inspire him to love by being as Christ-like to him as I can be. My job is to see Christ in him and find ways to show my own love, that is a full-time job!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Share ye not my faults
On the feast of the great St. Thomas Aquinas, saint of wisdom and knowledge, I knelt in front of Our Lord Jesus Christ, whom St. Thomas served so well and was inspired to chronicle my faults and failings as a wife and mother and share them. This is not for the purpose of eliciting any response on my own behalf but rather solely as a gift both for my daughter and daughters-in-law, their husbands, children, and most of all the furtherance of their sanctification.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Ruminations
If I continue to write as sporadically as I have been doing I'll be dead before I say all that I want to say. That may be a good thing.
I have been ruminating a lot lately about death. Not that I am a ruminant nor that I am in iminant danger of death either but nonetheless that is what I have been doing. Recently several people that I care very much about have died. (I despise the term passed away, it has no real meaning in this context)
My father has terminal cancer. Almost a year ago he was given a death sentence and told that he didn't have very long to live. Here it is nearly a year later and he is still hanging on. To paraphrase him, he hasn't died yet so he decided to renew his membership in the shooting club that he belongs to. I spent some time with him last fall thanks to some very good and generous friends and to my good and generous son Ryan. Dad and I got to have several heart to hearts and, I think to be able to say to each other things that needed to be said and things that we both wanted to say to each other, although dad and I have always been able to communicate with each other fairly openly.
That said, part of me, the pragmatic part, is comfortable with his imminent death. Another part of me, the emotional and, I admit, the selfish part is not happy with it at all. Layer that on top of the two deaths that have so recently occurred and it is enough to make me contemplate what is it all about.
I know what death and dying are about, but what is it about death that is so hard for all of us. What makes us cringe and shrink away from death. I have come to the conclusion, for myself anyway, that it is selfishness that makes it such a burden. I am not afraid of my own death, on the contrary, bring it on. There are days that I would be very thankful to be done with this mortal coil. But the death of others, those that are close to me, those whom I have loved, that I detest. They empty me in ways that nothing else can. Losing someone I love wrings out my heart and wrenches my soul as nothing else can.
It is a selfishness in me that I despise. It is not based on what I get from that other person, it is more embarrassing than that. Something that I find I don't even like to face in myself and yet I must and I must overcome. I detest, strong language I know, change. Please don't ask it of me. The removal of someone from my life is change, it is reminder, it is an acknowledgement of the march of time. That change is inevitable. Change is my enemy.
Sounds silly, almost juvenile, yet I am a creature of habit. Routine and order are what help me function. Without them I am at odds and I have trouble getting myself in order. Each death of each person I love changes not only my life, my schedule, my routine, but me. I acknowledge that it is good for me. I welcome it once it comes for the good that it is. But at the same time I dread it because I fear and dislike it so.
So my new resolution, and I am begging those who have gone on before me to pray with me for the strength to maintain my resolve, to open my arms to whatever change that the Lord has in store. Quit fighting against it. Find the good and the lesson that is there and learn.
I have been ruminating a lot lately about death. Not that I am a ruminant nor that I am in iminant danger of death either but nonetheless that is what I have been doing. Recently several people that I care very much about have died. (I despise the term passed away, it has no real meaning in this context)
My father has terminal cancer. Almost a year ago he was given a death sentence and told that he didn't have very long to live. Here it is nearly a year later and he is still hanging on. To paraphrase him, he hasn't died yet so he decided to renew his membership in the shooting club that he belongs to. I spent some time with him last fall thanks to some very good and generous friends and to my good and generous son Ryan. Dad and I got to have several heart to hearts and, I think to be able to say to each other things that needed to be said and things that we both wanted to say to each other, although dad and I have always been able to communicate with each other fairly openly.
That said, part of me, the pragmatic part, is comfortable with his imminent death. Another part of me, the emotional and, I admit, the selfish part is not happy with it at all. Layer that on top of the two deaths that have so recently occurred and it is enough to make me contemplate what is it all about.
I know what death and dying are about, but what is it about death that is so hard for all of us. What makes us cringe and shrink away from death. I have come to the conclusion, for myself anyway, that it is selfishness that makes it such a burden. I am not afraid of my own death, on the contrary, bring it on. There are days that I would be very thankful to be done with this mortal coil. But the death of others, those that are close to me, those whom I have loved, that I detest. They empty me in ways that nothing else can. Losing someone I love wrings out my heart and wrenches my soul as nothing else can.
It is a selfishness in me that I despise. It is not based on what I get from that other person, it is more embarrassing than that. Something that I find I don't even like to face in myself and yet I must and I must overcome. I detest, strong language I know, change. Please don't ask it of me. The removal of someone from my life is change, it is reminder, it is an acknowledgement of the march of time. That change is inevitable. Change is my enemy.
Sounds silly, almost juvenile, yet I am a creature of habit. Routine and order are what help me function. Without them I am at odds and I have trouble getting myself in order. Each death of each person I love changes not only my life, my schedule, my routine, but me. I acknowledge that it is good for me. I welcome it once it comes for the good that it is. But at the same time I dread it because I fear and dislike it so.
So my new resolution, and I am begging those who have gone on before me to pray with me for the strength to maintain my resolve, to open my arms to whatever change that the Lord has in store. Quit fighting against it. Find the good and the lesson that is there and learn.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Observations
Let me take a break from the life narrative and make a few observations about life. The first one being that an increase in maturity, at least for me, is proportunate to the negative experiences that one goes through.
What do I mean by that. My first experience that was a make or break thing for me was when the doctor came into my labor room to announce that I had to have a C-section. Being a person who was somewhat spoiled and used to getting my own way, most of the time, that was a situation for me that was beyond my control. There was no way for me to do anything but comply with the order of the doctor. Besides the life and health of my child was literally at stake here.
What I am getting at is that it was a time for me to either grow up and learn from the experience or keep on as I was and probably never have another child again because it was obvious that I was unable to control things and they wouldn't be going the way that I wanted in the future either. I chose to grow up and learn. I shut up, took the pain, took my lumps and sucked up my disappointment. I learned in a flash, literally, that what was important here is the child not the mother. Not what I wanted but what God wanted of me.
The next epiphany in my life will seem rather minor to others but meant a great deal to me. It was when my pediatrician announced that my second son was allergic to milk and that I had to wean him from breast milk and put him on soy formula. My first feeling was, "wait a minute, I'm feeding him the best there is, how can it be making him sick?" Then I, again, sucked it up and did as I was told. (are we seeing a trend here: headstrong mom needs to be pushed to the wall in order to learn anything) Again, I learned that he was more important than my feelings about breast feeding.
I won't go into all of the bumps that caused me to grow up in my life. There are far too many to chronicle here. That is the only way that I learn. But I will list the most significant.
The greatest time and lesson that I learned was when my youngest daughter died. That was more than the usual blow for me. Sure I was sad, sadder than i have ever been in my whole life. That is a sadness that cannot be described nor can it be shared with anyone other than one who has also lost a child. But beyond the sadness and how to deal with it effectively and properly, I learned something much more important, I learned the real value and power of faith in God. Before her death I knew about faith and all that it means to us. I knew what faith could do but I had no real idea about what faith was. Then my daughter died and it was a matter of do you really believe or not. Every second of every day for quite some time after her death I had to make a real and constant decision to believe in God and to act on that belief. Not that my faith wasn't real before, but in order for the grief not to swamp me, to keep it from overwhelming me and taking over my whole life, I had to consciously think about God and who he is and why I believed and then I had to make an effort to believe and then to act on that belief. That was the only way for me to survive. That was the only way that I could get up every morning and care for my family. That was the only way that I could take each breath some days. That was my kick in the backside into my next level of maturity. It was God's way of saying, grow up or else.
I am not saying that he took my daughter to make me grow up. Nor am I saying that he necessarily used that incident to make me take the next step on the road to maturity, but it sure was a ripe opportunity for doing just that.
Another large kick in my butt came not too many months after Rebekah's death, when my doctor announced that not only would there be no more baby's but that I had to have a hysterectomy or there would be dire health consequences for me. Not only did that kill my dreams of a large family, no six children isn't a large family, but it made me feel less inside myself. Not in the way that other's may imagine. Not less of a woman because I would be missing those organs, but less because my motherhood and my ability to have children was what had defined me for so long. I had to change my mind about myself and I was still dealing with grief over the loss of my child. My mind wasn't ready to grieve about this too.
This event was not only a kick into another step toward maturity but it had the extra added bonus of bringing my husband and I closer in our marriage. Not that any of the other happenings didn't bring us closer but this event did in a very different way. The removal of my ability to have children was something that changed both of us. It was something that both of us had to grieve over together. My husband was a wonder through this experience. His love and support were so beneficial in helping me change the way that I saw myself. Helped me see myself not only as a wife and mother but as a woman as well. As a woman with talents and gifts to give beyond my family. He showed me that I have a potential that was as yet untapped but that he would help me realize. Without his help I would never have made it through that as well as I did.
What do I mean by that. My first experience that was a make or break thing for me was when the doctor came into my labor room to announce that I had to have a C-section. Being a person who was somewhat spoiled and used to getting my own way, most of the time, that was a situation for me that was beyond my control. There was no way for me to do anything but comply with the order of the doctor. Besides the life and health of my child was literally at stake here.
What I am getting at is that it was a time for me to either grow up and learn from the experience or keep on as I was and probably never have another child again because it was obvious that I was unable to control things and they wouldn't be going the way that I wanted in the future either. I chose to grow up and learn. I shut up, took the pain, took my lumps and sucked up my disappointment. I learned in a flash, literally, that what was important here is the child not the mother. Not what I wanted but what God wanted of me.
The next epiphany in my life will seem rather minor to others but meant a great deal to me. It was when my pediatrician announced that my second son was allergic to milk and that I had to wean him from breast milk and put him on soy formula. My first feeling was, "wait a minute, I'm feeding him the best there is, how can it be making him sick?" Then I, again, sucked it up and did as I was told. (are we seeing a trend here: headstrong mom needs to be pushed to the wall in order to learn anything) Again, I learned that he was more important than my feelings about breast feeding.
I won't go into all of the bumps that caused me to grow up in my life. There are far too many to chronicle here. That is the only way that I learn. But I will list the most significant.
The greatest time and lesson that I learned was when my youngest daughter died. That was more than the usual blow for me. Sure I was sad, sadder than i have ever been in my whole life. That is a sadness that cannot be described nor can it be shared with anyone other than one who has also lost a child. But beyond the sadness and how to deal with it effectively and properly, I learned something much more important, I learned the real value and power of faith in God. Before her death I knew about faith and all that it means to us. I knew what faith could do but I had no real idea about what faith was. Then my daughter died and it was a matter of do you really believe or not. Every second of every day for quite some time after her death I had to make a real and constant decision to believe in God and to act on that belief. Not that my faith wasn't real before, but in order for the grief not to swamp me, to keep it from overwhelming me and taking over my whole life, I had to consciously think about God and who he is and why I believed and then I had to make an effort to believe and then to act on that belief. That was the only way for me to survive. That was the only way that I could get up every morning and care for my family. That was the only way that I could take each breath some days. That was my kick in the backside into my next level of maturity. It was God's way of saying, grow up or else.
I am not saying that he took my daughter to make me grow up. Nor am I saying that he necessarily used that incident to make me take the next step on the road to maturity, but it sure was a ripe opportunity for doing just that.
Another large kick in my butt came not too many months after Rebekah's death, when my doctor announced that not only would there be no more baby's but that I had to have a hysterectomy or there would be dire health consequences for me. Not only did that kill my dreams of a large family, no six children isn't a large family, but it made me feel less inside myself. Not in the way that other's may imagine. Not less of a woman because I would be missing those organs, but less because my motherhood and my ability to have children was what had defined me for so long. I had to change my mind about myself and I was still dealing with grief over the loss of my child. My mind wasn't ready to grieve about this too.
This event was not only a kick into another step toward maturity but it had the extra added bonus of bringing my husband and I closer in our marriage. Not that any of the other happenings didn't bring us closer but this event did in a very different way. The removal of my ability to have children was something that changed both of us. It was something that both of us had to grieve over together. My husband was a wonder through this experience. His love and support were so beneficial in helping me change the way that I saw myself. Helped me see myself not only as a wife and mother but as a woman as well. As a woman with talents and gifts to give beyond my family. He showed me that I have a potential that was as yet untapped but that he would help me realize. Without his help I would never have made it through that as well as I did.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The perfect child.
On March 10, 1984 the most perfect child that God ever created was born. A more beautiful baby has never been seen. Of course it helped that he was born by C-section so his head wasn't
molded into a conehead but was nice and round like the Gerber baby.
From day one this child slept through the night, I kid you not. His father and I used to go into his room and hold our hands in front of his mouth just to make sure that he was breathing. He would wake up and eat with no fuss and go back to sleep again with no fuss either. He was just the most perfect little boy.
Every milestone that was expected of him he passed at the right time; rolling over, creeping, crawling, and walking. His smiles could melt the heart of the grouchiest and light up the room that he was in. There was nothing that he was afraid to try. When he was 18months old he announced one day, "No diaper mommy" and forever after he was potty trained during the day.
When he was old enough to play outside I could put him in the yard with his toys and there he would be hours later just as contented as could be, he never wandered off.
His favorite pastime from the first was to drive his trucks in the sand saying, "dig, dump, dig, dump." over and over.
He loved nothing better than to have his dad take him for rides on the tractors on the farm. As soon as he could hold a shovel or a fork here was there "helping" his dad. That boy was born to farm.
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